messy divorce

[minnow]

Well mel...here it is *s*
Has anyone ever been through a particularly bad divorce? The emotional raping, nasty, blood-sport variety? I'd love to hear how you got through it cos I am not even sure how I'm still here.....*wiped out*

[imzredhead]

OMG can I write a book for this thread *G*....back later, not enough time to even start,*LOL*... but minnow, if you are in it, I certainly can empathize *S* Hang tough it does get better eventually....but if you have kids together, some of it will never end.....

[~lily~]

Hey..i have stories that would curl your hair *S*
I'm at the tail end of one messy divorce. I'm in to my lawyer for almost ten grand just trying to get custody finalized let along pending financial settlements. I'm been to family court a dozen times, been remanded, been sent back cause we filed wrong etc, because my ex wanted an ajournment.
$CHING$ $CHING$
I have never been through such a soul and mind raping experience. People are nasty and vindictive. My ex has a psychotic girlfreind who stalks me in real life and online. They've spread nasty rumors, told my son bullshit stories, tried to ruin me professionally and financially.
But hopefully it will soon be over. Custody has been awarded to me and maybe he'll finally start coming good for shit he's pulled cause he's pulled lots.
There are times when if it hadn't been for T@Z and for friends/family i'm sure i would have lost it *S*
If i can help with encouragement, advice or even just telling you how my side has worked out, please ask...this is a horrible experience where freinds are invaluable!!

[minnow]

*sigh*....I'm in the middle of a very nasty custody dispute. I suffered from depression a couple of years ago, a pretty severe one which lasted about a year. Now I guess I am mentally ill and unfit to care for my youngish children and my soon to be ex is exhausting me mentally and financially. We also had a long standing arrangement in our marriage that after his career had been established that I would get my chance to go back to school or start a business. Now he makes around 140K annually and it would be almost funny if it weren't so fucking sad to listen to his attorney say "Well,...she does have a high school diploma". I have been to court so many times and this has already dragged on for 7 months and not a god damned thing has been decided. It is nice to see it's not just me though. And that others have come through it. Thanks.

[minnow]

voodooray if that was a question about the custody dispute....no...I am currently going through one....

[voodooray]

was the custody dispute many yrs ago..

i seen 2 divorces...when my dad fucked off and when my dad got dumped.....scarred for life

[~lily~]

I don't know where you're from but in Canada, we have the Office of the Children's Lawyer...it was the best thing i could have asked for..they represent the children...a wonderful thing!!!

[minnow]

I'm in the US lily and we have something similar here. A Guardian Ad Litem who is an attorney appointed for the children. She is the one who has recently made the recommendations in my case (see Dance of Joy thread). I'm pleased about her recommendation but still think an attorney appointed for the children has some major flaws. These are people who are expected to assess your situation and make major life decisions in the best interest of the child, however, if the parents can work out these issues in mediation I would strongly recommend that as a first route of action. I wanted to go that route, my ex pulled out of mediation. I still disagree with his decision.

[~lily~]

Sure mediation should always be the first step hon...but if both parties can't sit amicably and discuss the children in mediation, what makes you think they can do so on their own??? hence the necessity of the children's lawyer. These people represent the best interest of the children, not the vested interests of the parents *S*
JMHO

[imzredhead]

Ya know minnow....we should talk *L*....I just wanted to share the one thing my attorney kept saying over and over for the past seven months, that seemed to make sense to me *G*.....he'd say...."I can get you your divorce....I can't make your husband a decent person".....*LOL*